When I found out that I was pregnant, I was scared, nervous, and super excited. All the feels were happening!
Then came unsolicited advice, people telling me my life was going to change, and random people coming up to me and asking questions.
Then came our baby boy, Aiden. Since he slept so much the first couple of weeks, my initial thought was ‘this is so easy!’ Yeah, I was getting up every 2-3 hours feeding him in the middle of the night, but so what? I will say, there are time that cried in the middle of the night when I was feeding him. Not because of anything emotional that I was going through, but because I was so bloody tired. All I wanted to do was sleep. Every time I remember those times, I get a laugh out of it. Aiden used to poop while I was feeding him. Multitasking at its finest. Well, after each feeding, I would wake Jared up to get him to change Aiden’s diaper while I went to the bathroom. That was probably mean of me to do, but I didn’t want to be the only one not sleeping all night.
Real quick. Can I please just say that I quickly realized how amazing moms are since we can fully function without much sleep. Just saying.
Aiden was perfect those first few weeks, but I noticed that as he got older, he needed even more attention from Jared and I. Of course, we were showering our boy with love and attention every second of every day. But we noticed that as he got older, he required and wanted even more attention and love from us.
That’s when it got a tad difficult.
Gone are the days when he was eating and sleeping. Thankfully, by 2 months he was sleeping through the night. PTL!! Jared and I felt like new people. However, he would cry for no apparent reason. Jared and I would go through the steps to find out what was wrong. Nothing helped the fussiness and crying. Turns out that he just wanted to be held.
It got increasing more difficult since I was able to work from home. I would be on calls with business partners or colleagues and I would have to mute my phone, so they wouldn’t hear Aiden screaming in the background. How was I supposed to carry on working and help to provide for our family?
When I say parenting is hard, it’s not necessarily what Aiden does to make it hard. He’s a baby and can’t help it. I know that. What’s hard is wanting to get a little me time and quiet time so I can accomplish something before Jared gets home. I hated it when Jared would come home from work, asked how my day was and all he would get from me is ‘the look.’ The look of “Aiden didn’t want to nap all day, so he’s cranky.” The look of “This is my fourth shirt today because of all the spit up.” The look of “Take Aiden. I just want to shower so I can have 5 minutes of peace!”
And what would drive me even more nuts is that Aiden would be cranky for me all day but started laughing and smiling when Jared got home. What the hell?!
Yes, there are times when Aiden gets on my nerves because he won’t do what I would like for him to do. But he’s 7 months old. He’s going to do what he wants. Who am I kidding, he runs this household. But I can firmly say, that I love him so much more now than I did the first moment I saw him in the hospital. He’s got a ton of personality that I love seeing throughout the day. No matter how many poopy diapers, changed shirts, fussy moments I go through on a daily basis, I can never get enough of Aiden. Honestly, I wouldn’t change anything that I’ve gone through so far.
When I look at the whole picture, our biggest life change yet wouldn’t have been any better. Of course, it’s hard to see when you look at everything day by day, but when you take a step back, that is when everything becomes more glorious.
“Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained.” C.S. Lewis
