5 Best Tips for Surviving the Newborn Stage

First of all, let me say, congratulations! You’ve been through some pretty hard and exhausting things recently and now it’s time to take a load off, right? Um, no. That’s wrong. Unfortunately. You can read all the books, look at Pinterest, hear (un)solicited advice when you’re pregnant, but nothing can truly prepare you for the journey ahead. It’s hard. It’s great that we have tools like Google and Pinterest to see some of the newborn tips out there. That’s what I did on a daily basis! Now that I’ve had one, I’ve decided to write a post about surviving the newborn stage. Here are some things I learned with my first baby. 

People Want to Help…Take It!

For many of us, we have help offered to us in the first weeks. People will bring meals/snacks and offer to hold your baby while you shower or nap. If someone you love offers to stay with you and help in the first few weeks: TAKE IT! 

At first, I hated even thinking about all the random people from church stopping by my house with meals. I felt obligated to dress up and host when people came by. Even though I had just delivered a child, was healing, and tired, I wanted to play the part of hostess. I was stupid and selfish. Why wouldn’t I want to accept help from people that love us? Not going to lie, I felt immense love from the random people at church (that I only met once) or hadn’t officially met (but knew who they were). So, don’t be afraid to accept help from people. They only want to help. Let them. It will bring them joy and you will feel all the better from having someone help you. 

Fed Is Best

Some moms nurse, feed with formula, or others pump. Seriously, all that stuff about babies being smarter because they are breastfed is a load of shit. No matter if your baby is breastfed or formula fed, your baby will bond with you because you are their mother, not because they were breastfed. You can stop nursing if it isn’t working out for you. Or if you simply don’t want to breastfeed because of work, past experiences, etc. Don’t feel guilty about not breastfeeding. 

In all honesty, I breastfed Aiden and I didn’t “feel” us bonding. Yes, I was feeding him, and it was great, but once he was done feeding, I sighed with relief. Maybe it was because I was so tired? Once he turned 6 months old, he was still eating breastmilk, but I was exclusively pumping. Why? I was tired and he is so bloody distracted all the time that he wouldn’t eat from the boob because he wants to look at the TV. Talk about frustrating.  

Remember, fed is best!

Learn How You Function

For me it’s my morning routine which includes, face washing, brushing my teeth, coffee, and then shower. After those things, I’m ready to tackle the day! Of course, there are times when I would skip my shower because I’m too tired, or something came up, but I learned early on to not skip any of those four things. Whatever it is that will make you feel like an actual human being in the morning, do it! And do it every day, unapologetically!

When you feel ready in the morning, you’ll definitely have a better time dealing with a newborn. 

Discuss Realistic Chores and Meal Expectations with Your S.O.

Ok, so you are home all day long. You S.O. is at work, “bringing home the bacon.” It’s super easy for a misunderstanding to pop up. Your S.O. figures you’re home all day with the baby, therefore, everything will be completed by you. Sure, you may be able to complete household duties in a few months’ time, but it’s going to create a disaster if you don’t talk about this before the baby arrives. There will be days when you are glued to the couch with a fussy baby and can’t get stuff done. Or maybe you’re a zombie from 8a-5p because your baby thought there was a hopping party going on in the living room for hours on end in the wee hours of the morning. 

Thank goodness I have a husband that understood where I was coming from so, I didn’t have to shoulder most of the household duties. 

Here are some of the expectations I let my husband in on: 

1) I will do the dishes when there is time to do them

2) Garbage and outdoor maintenance are your job until the kiddos can do it. Unless it’s mowing the lawn. I find that peaceful. 

3) I will clean like there is no tomorrow if company is coming, but until then, the house will be the house. We can always clean a little later.

4) Don’t expect 5-star meals every night. Some days, I may have the motivation. Other days, I may call you to pick up take out. Or it might just be whatever you can find in the fridge or pantry. 

Parenting is Teamwork 

Most babies experience “The Witching Hour.” It’s a super fussy period that can last for hours at a time. After a day of feeding, napping, and diaper changes, their little bodies are so overwhelmed. So, they do one thing they know how to do best: scream/cry. Now, mom was probably up at least a few times a night and has been working her tail off all day. Your S.O. may have a stressful job, but as a new dad he has to learn that he is not off the clock when he gets off work. 

Here is a couple of things we did during the newborn phase that may help you: 

1) Have dad take over when he gets home. It might give you time to shower, cook dinner, or just get some me time in.

2) Have dad take on bedtime and/or night time routines. 

3) Have dad take over a feeding or two so you can get a break.

4) Take a family walk in the evenings. The fresh air and change of scenery will hopefully distract baby long enough to help give you a little break. 

These are just a few things to help you get through the newborn stage.